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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tips for Parents of Teens

I recently read an online article from Womans Day titled 7 Sanity Savers for Parents of Teens I would love to share my thoughts of this article with you

  1. Be A Parent Not A Pal: This is very hard to go from always being the one that they look up to to going to being the one that dictates all the rules that they may agree with or not. Allowin them to still know that you love them to me is the key here. One can not be too strict yet not allow them to do things that will hurt them as well. Sometimes I feel teens are their own worst enemies. Learning how to live life is not always easy and that is what parents are there for to allow them to live but be there to guide, direct and catch them when they fall.
  2. Get Tech-Savvy To Stay Connected: sounds odd but there have been times that my son has told me he can sit in the other room tell me what he would if he were in the same room with me and yet the reaction is different. We have had deep conversations through key boards I often think that is because we must think what we are writing down rather than blurting it out The computer also makes a great way to converse with your children as they head to college. Moving away changes things a bit schedules are different but through the computer you can leave a personal message it is different than the answer machine. Once again I think because you must say the words as you read them.
  3. Throw Your Own (Good) Taste Out the Window: by nature our children are not always going to agree with us. They will have a difference of opinion and I believe that if you state what you think but do not overstate your opinion it works best. There are ways that things that you dont agree on can be discussed. After all the way they appear will reflect on them and if it is not welcome by friends it will change soon. There are larger things to be debated so the small battles should not be an all out war.
  4. Develop A Thick Skin: I actually have a funny story to this one as all of my teens have at one time or another went through a dark passage. Saying things they know they should not have is almost something that happens as a reflex in teen years I feel. My daughter always would go to her room and slam the door turn up the radio to the song "I need my wide open spaces" LOL. She also had the ability to say "I hate you" at the drop of the hat. The funny thing is I would always say "I love you" back to her. One time I did not say this because I was busy and she came back and asked "Are you mad at me? because you did not say you loved me"
  5. Know How To Go Zen: something very hard to do but in order to keep confrontation to a means and to also teach a lesson rather than start a battle. I punish my teens by minutes = minutes on minimum rule breaks or minutes = minutes on more major ones. They are grounded from computer, phones, things they want to do etc... but it is specific so they can see they are working it off
  6. Know When To Snoop or Scram: be careful in this department. It is very important to either to not overstep boundaries so they dont close you out. There are times when you want to know what is going on but allow them to have their privacy a bit as well. As difficult as this sounds allow them to come to you. I do have my children on my facebook, myspace, etc... so I know primarily what is going on.
  7. Don't Think He Would Never Do That: no child is perfect and anything is possible, know their friends, their hangouts, what they do and where they go.

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