Last year we saw our daughter end her marriage and go through a divorce. This was hard for all. Our little princess felt it a lot as well. I have heard her say more than once "I wish my mommy and daddy were still together" or "back when mom and dad and me lived in one house" While divorce is hard for all we should always be ready to help the children and keep them in mind when decisions are made.
Take some time and think about these questions to ensure that you are doing the best for your child. While staying together is not always possible it is best to help the child out and remember they love both mom and dad
• Did you respect the fact that children innately love both parents and are wounded when one of them is disparaged, regardless of your personal perspective about it?
• Did you force your child to be a spy or go-between, taking on responsibilities that children should not bear?
• Did you ask your child to choose between loving Mom or Dad, or take sides in any way?
• Did you keep their other parent from active participation in their life because you wanted to hurt your spouse?
All of the things are above are behaviors that are often made without considering the children's feelings and often out of revenge. Children often are left scarred from the inside out. Often the issues that cause the damage is not needed. The divorce is not what harms the child it is the actions that take place during a divorce. Tension, discord, anger, and disrespect toward the other parent is actions that harm children.
Think twice before you act or speak. Is it really needed or is it something that is only there to hurt your ex-partner. Keep the feelings of your children in mind, they will thank you and remember when they grow up.