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Friday, July 30, 2010

Bullies Go Back To School Too

When the school doors open in just a few weeks children will go back to school. Along with the students are those that have been bullied, will be bullied and the bullies their selves. The truth is you can not always be with your child to protect them. If you prepare your child now to protect their selves and fight back against bullies their school years may be filled with joy. I am a mother of six children and have seen a few of my children bullied and come home crying at night. One of my daughters is overweight and had a dramatic experience with bullies many boys who would call her names such as bowling ball, twinkie, and the list goes on. The teasing was relentless. It was not a fun experience for her she would cry, refuse to go to school, and the days of school were awful for her from about the third grade to the eighth grade. One day she had enough and fought back by throwing a glass of milk on one of them. After that they left her alone, she became friends with some of them and tried to always help those who were bullied. What can you do to help prevent this from happening to your child?
  • Be a parent that is aware of what is going on with your child. Children with active parents in their lives often gain more self esteem. The more self esteem a child has the better they can stand up for their selves and the less power the bully has over them
  • While my daughter did fight back after years of torment this is not something that always works. The truth is the more the bully sees your child suffering and getting mad the more they feel energized to keep the torment going. Your child's pain is their goal.
  • Teach your child that many children bully because they do not like something about their selves so by being mean to another they take the spotlight off their selves. Also many children that are bullies have been bullied their selves While this may not help at the time the goal of this is for the future and learning human behaviors
  • If possible visit school, volunteer, have friends over and watch to see how your child gets along with others. Allowing your child to be part of activities allows you to see if their social skills are up to their friends. It also allows your child to build social skills

With these points in mind I wish you and your child a happy new school year that is bully free.