Missing Someone Special

Holidays, a time of the year when it seems that we all strive to get together and have a bit of joyful fun. The problems of the world may just seem to go away for a bit and happiness abounds. Celebrating with family, exchanging gifts, and laughter abounds. This time of year is loved by most and it is a time of year we look forward to for months. While the shopping, cooking, baking and decorating may still be work but it all seems to have a reason. For most, that is the way the world seems but there are those that find the holidays very difficult.

Grief is something that may take years to come to a point where it can be dealt with. The truth is that our loved one is gone and we miss them greatly. The holidays seem to be even a harder time to get over the pain and hurt that accompanies grief. It offers no ease as the holidays were most likely a great time to celebrate with you. Truly time makes no difference to how it hurts or how much we still miss them and wish they were here for the holidays.

I think that most likely we have all felt a bit of grief one time or another during the holidays. My own daughter in law during Thanksgiving looked a bit sad and I asked what was wrong. She told me she was missing and thinking about her own mom who had passed earlier this year. I gave her a hug and told her that I know how it feels that I miss both my dad who died nearly 10 years ago and my grandmothers that have passed away many years ago as well. Just those few minutes of talked seemed to help her and while most likely she still misses her mom she was able to enjoy our family gathering a bit.

Like my daughter in law many others deal with grief and manage to get through the day somehow. Traditions often will include memories of their loved one. I always tell the kids about my dad and his Christmas stocking when we hang our stockings every year. This keeps his memory alive and the kids will have a story to share with future generations. Others may share their memories in other ways or keep an empty chair or an ornament on the tree Sadly, there are those that choose not to celebrate or simply go on like before ignoring the fact that a loved family member is gone.

Standing by watching those we love suffer can be hurtful to us as well. The easiest thing we can often do is offer a hug. It allows the griever to know they are loved and not alone. Allowing them to talk will help as well, tell them it is o.k. to remember and that we should hold those happy memories to share with others. Perhaps all that is needed is to just be quiet and sit with them.



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