Sibling Love To The End and After

When we think abou November we often think about family and being together during the holidays. We also think about those that will not be here this year because of their passing away. It makes no difference whether it was a surprise or expected, a death is a death and hurts inside. Perhaps, when it is a close relative like a child, parent or sibling this pain is even tougher

November plays host to bereaved sibling month.  I, myself, am a bereaved sibling. Two brothers, I never was able to meet was taken away without any brotherly chats or time to bond. The bond, was created somehow as I often wonder what having an older brother would have been like and would have loved the chance to spoil and pick on a baby brother as well. While others may have been able to know their siblings before they were taken to rest high on that mountain the pain to me is the same.

If you know someone who has lost a brother or sister be sure to let them know you are thinking about them. The loss of a sibling causes pain that nobody can imagine unless they have experienced a lost that great. Adult siblings are often not allowed to grieve as they are often busy taking care of funeral details. Likewise, siblings of the younger generation are also left out as the parents are being comforted.

Siblings are often our first real friends. The loss of a sibling can be a great issue this is made even harder if the sibling dies to young. Feelings of guilt, abandonment, loss of innocence, fallout from family, fear and anxiety are all common when a sibling is lost.

Guilt may be present when a sibling dies because:

• you are the sibling that survived while your sibling is now gone
• perhaps you and your sibling were great friends and you knew each other well but you did not know the struggles or hardships that led to death
• you could not protect your sibling from harm
• …you know how fragile life is.
• …you’re worried others in your family may die.

Everyone will grieve over a loss as well they should. The grieving process may differ from parents, siblings and other family members. Misunderstandings may arise when the reaction is different for all. The key idea is to support each other.

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