Sandwich Generation

As I get older my world seems to change. As a young mother, my children have all grown and left the nest. A few of them have returned for one reason or another and brought with them husbands, wives and children . We have been every present as my husbands mothers health went down and stayed by her side as she left this world for what I hope is a city of gold to see her heavenly father. Now my mother, is getting on in age and while she is still very much independent I worry about her lots. So , you may ask yourself why am I sharing all this here today?? Well, there may be many of you who relate to my story.

As we get older it seems more of us are becoming members of the "sandwich generation" We are the generation that will take care of both our parents and our children and if you are like me your grand-children. In fact, there are times that many tell me that my family reminds them of old t.v. shows where the entire family lived together. 

All of this can and often does become over whelming. There are things you can do. Start with a talk with your parents before the going gets hard. Discuss their wishes and how you can help. Living arrangements, financial resources, fears and concerns should all be discussed early on. It will not always be easy, will it be worth it?? I can say that I loved having the extra time with my mother in law and helping her in and through her final stage of life. It will not be easy and your story may be different than mine. 

About 1/2 of all adulst are currently providing some sort of financial support to their grown children. About 1/2 of those adults are also financially supporting their parents as well. Roughly about 1 in every 8 adults are taking care of both. This can make us feel good and often does but it is also very stressful. An estimated cost of $10,000 goes toward taking parents and grown children. There are thousands of volunteer jobs as well. Between running errands, dr. appointments, house cleaning chores, and more will make us feel tired as well. 

We are not superhuman. There are many that depend upon us but we must take care of ourselves or we will not be able to take care of anyone. Our husband, siblings, children, and other individuals are often willing to help. Our problem is that we often do not want to let go of controll. Many of us still have to work, take care of our family and then the additional chores that we have taken on. The goal must be to find some "me time" to have some time to relax, quiet time, time to chat on phone, spend time with your mate whatever makes you happy.