Karen
Jordan
Author,
Speaker
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Four
Tips To Improve Your Listening Skills
By Karen
Jordan
“Are you
listening to me?” Has someone ever asked you that question? Or maybe that
thought pierced your heart and mind, as you felt the sting of someone else
ignoring or rejecting you?
Consider
these four ways to improve your listening skills.
- Resolve to be
quick to listen. Many times, people who come to us for help, just need
for us to listen. James 1:19 offers this advice, "Understand this … You must all
be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry" (NLT).
- Decide
to be available. Jesus gives us an example of a wise counselor who made
Himself available to listen. “The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry
tour and told him all they had done and taught” (Matt.
6:30).
- Desire
a discerning heart. Not only does Jesus listen, He discerned the needs
of others. When His disciples came to Him after their ministry tour, Jesus
observes their need for solitude and rest: “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet
place and rest awhile” (ibid.).
- Choose
to be quiet. Jesus also taught His disciples the importance of being
quiet. In Matthew 11:15, Jesus asks his disciples, "Are you listening to me?
Really listening? (MSG)
At times
our failure to listen before responding can provoke a negative, emotional
response from our loved ones or friends, who may need our help. In fact,
Proverbs 18:13 warns us, "Answering before listening is both stupid and rude"
(MSG).
What can we
offer others with our response, after we listen to their needs?
- Grace, not
criticism or judgment. Romans 2:4 reminds us, "Don’t you see how
wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing
to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?"
(NLT)
- Companionship.
We must encourage others to be dependent upon Jesus, not co-dependent
upon us. Jesus promised His followers, "I'll be with you … day after day after
day, right up to the end of this age" (Matt. 28:20 MSG).
So, the
next time someone comes to you for help, I hope you ask yourself this question
first: “Are you listening … Really listening?” (Matt. 11:15)
Karen
Jordan is best known for telling the stories that matter most. She has
multiple writing credits and trains other writers as well. Contact her for
speaking events, writing assignments, and interviews at kj@karenjordan.net or visit www.karenjordan.net.
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